If I had to pick my poison, I know exactly what it would be. Liver, meet vodka, she’s a cruel mistress.
Vodka and I have a history, most of which I can’t remember and most of which results in me making a fool of myself. Vodka once told me that Isabel and I had to have a get low competition in the middle of the streets in downtown Spokane while wearing mini skirts. Vodka also told Isabel to grab my face and kiss me in front of my then boyfriend in an attempt to “protect me from creepers” because she was too drunk to realize it was him. Vodka was by my side to mentor me in New Zealand, once convincing me that I had to kiss that Brit to rescue Chiquita the party pineapple from certain cannibalistic death in the camper van where she was held captive (she was forever grateful, by the way). Actually, vodka’s told me to kiss and run on multiple occasions, it’s her favorite game. In Spokane we pregamed with a delicious drink I will soon share with you and tried to sneak beers into the bar. I was too drunk to be subtle and the bouncer caught us and kicked us out. I spent at least 5 minutes doing my belligerent best to convince him that we had bought those beers there, despite the fact that they didn’t happen to sell 24oz PBRs. It ended with me yelling at him to go check with the bartender as he pushed us out the door. On another night I think I got kicked out of a bar called the Marquee (either that or one of my other friends did because she was too drunk to come back in), and I made a right fool of myself on the way out. You know those queue ropes, the ones they put out to condense long lines of people? I grabbed my coat and decided to walk right through the middle of them on my way to the door, dragging poles and rope behind me like a wedding dress train. My friends were quite impressed that I pulled that off without noticing a thing. The bouncers, however, were not. After a long night of partying, my duplex mates and I decided to have an underwear dance party in our basement, followed by an inpromptu streak across Whitworth campus at 5am. Thanks for keeping me classy, vodka.
As I mentioned above, this is a great pregame drink (if you like sweet things):
1 can frozen lemonade mix
1 bottle champagne
Fifth of pomegranate vodka
Mix frozen lemonade with champagne in lieu of water. Add at least half of the fifth of vodka. More if you wish. I usually add more.
Another good one is vodka bitters. It’s usually this:
splash of bitters
Or if you want to jump start your night just order a vodka bitters with lime on the rocks like I did at Cafe Ole last weekend. You end up with a glass of vodka and a slice of lime on top. Not quite the same, and you have to really like vodka. I’d recommend the first one.