Late Nights and Ladyboys

If it weren’t for Pat, I would have hated Koh Samui. Between getting to Koh Phagnan and being surrounded by tourists, expensive…everything, sharing rooms with giant spiders, crashing motorbikes and spending more money on nothing than I did while up north even with all the tours, I was just over it. I missed northern Thailand, I missed the cheap street food to Bangkok and endless sightseeing, I missed the inexpensive dorms and the easiness of it all. South was nothing more than hoards of tourists and everything under the sun catered to tourists. It just didn’t feel real. I’ve already spent way more money already than I planned to and I’m still only in the first country I’ve come to see. Thailand, you’re wearing me down. Pat made Koh Samui not only bearable but, accidents aside, quite fun. I only wanted to find a private beach, grab a good book, and chill out.

Unfortunately I faced one of the pitfalls of motorbikes and, due to all my open wounds, was banned from going into the water (and the saltwater would have stung like a horde of evil little jellyfish anyway). With it being so hot out, sitting on a beach in the DSCN0983blazing sun while staring at crystal clear waters I was not allowed to jump into merely served to infuriate me and I therefore refused to go to the beach. From where I was, there were no beaches that close anyway and it kind of hurt to walk too far. I didn’t want to ask Pat if I could borrow her bike again and I was kind of too afraid to rent one because if anything happened to it I would have most likely had to pay and arm and a leg for even the most minor damages. Instead I spent my days wandering around town and getting massages and my nights in Pat’s restaurant drinking and chatting. She would close the bar and we would either stay there or wander town. My average bed time in Samui was 5am. I wouldn’t come home at 4 or 5am stumbling drunk either, we would just be out meeting people and having a few drinks and time would just slip away from us.

My second to last night there I went to see a lady boy cabaret show to waste some DSCN0926time. It was free and you only needed to buy a drink so why not. It was quite entertaining even though I felt more than a little self-conscious about being there alone while surrounded by friend groups and couples. At least I was well amused for the better part of an hour watching the DSCN0967Thai lady boy versions of Britney Spears, Madonna, Beyoncé and Lady Gaga dance up on stage. I don’t fully understand lady boys, to be honest. I don’t get the appeal of lip syncing while kind of dancing up on a stage. To be fair I was pretty impressed with some of them because they were pretty convincing, and for a second I would get jealous and then remember that they were naturally boys and therefore had a faster metabolism and less fat than me. And then I felt better because they were all going through a lot of effort to be just. like. me. (No, that’s not narcissistic at all…) Take that Freud, you and your outrageous penis envy theory. I got some photos during and after the show and returned for an epic night out with Pat and some Kiwis who had come DSCN0969over for a visit.

I left the islands today and made my way down to the horrible city of Hat Yai for the night. Hat Yai is busy, dirty, and in no way a destination city. It is a transition city where people stay for a night or two between going to and from Malaysia, Singapore and Thailand. I actually hate it. (You can tell I am definitely over almost everything by now and ready to get out of here haha). It’s too late to make a long story short, but I feel like I have mentally checked out of Thailand and it is time to move on for a while. So it’s off to Malaysia tomorrow! I am currently sitting in my room, which is actually being shared with a girl I met on the bus DSCN0974from Surat Thani who is also going to Malaysia. She is my first real travel buddy, horray! Anyway, turns out everywhere we looked accommodation was ridiculously expensive and, in a desperate attempt to save some money, we both agreed to share a bed with each other despite being total strangers. Her name is Laureen and she is from Switzerland. And that is literally all I know about her. That and what she wears to bed.

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