If You Wanna Be My Lover..

…You gotta do more than get with my friends. (Spice Girls shout out, in case you grew up under a rock. Or, know, a different decade.) The first Challenge Topic just so happens to be “5 Ways to Win My Heart”. This Ice Queen’s heart is not so easily won over, but I guess this would be a good start.

1. Respect me. Better yet respect women, respect men, respect yourself. Respect me enough to not make constant jokes about where I belong and to take my ideas, thoughts, and opinions as valid as your own. Don’t let yourself fall prey to the all too prevalent belief that women are always at fault for a man’s actions against her because of how her clothing choice made him lust uncontrollably. You are stronger than that, respect yourself enough to take both control and responsibility of yourself and your actions.

2. Make me laugh. I LOVE to laugh, and you can be the most chivalrous gentleman in the world but my gosh if you can’t make me laugh we are not going to make it. This could very well be a critical flaw in myself that explains why I have been attracted to certain dead ends in the past, but it really is a make it or break it factor; if your well of humor is as dry as the Sahara I’m outta there before I get thirsty.

3. Be adventurous. I love all things adventure, be it travel, trying new foods, adrenaline sports, you name it. I need a man who loves travel as much as I do, who can show up in an unknown town without a pre-booked hotel and find the joy of discovering new places. Someone who is ok with sharing a dorm room with a bunch of strangers or a bathroom with cockroaches that one time we somehow ended up in that back alley hotel in…wherever we were; someone who can find the humor in one night of discomfort rather than letting it ruin a trip (see I’m back onto humor again….I told you it was important!). I will do things like sky diving, parasailing, scuba diving, and cliff jumping while you watch from the sidelines, but I’ll be wishing you were next to me instead.

4. Be tall. *Sorry, but there is minimum height requirement for this ride. You have to be at least 6’1, preferably taller, and you must have more substance to you than a bean pole. I am a strong, tall woman. I need a man who can make me feel short and pick me up with ease so that I don’t feel like a beluga whale in your scrawny little arms. You may not like these unwavering requirements and sometimes I wish it could be different, but that’s just my lot in life. (and I’m currently living in SE Asia…talk about a hopeless situation…)

*what a horrible metaphor

5. Give me the “3Cs”. Confidence, coffee, and chocolate. Confidence is key. I’ve seen too many relationships blow up in a flaming ball of resentment and anger because the pair lacked confidence in each other, which in turn led to a break down of trust. Have confidence in me and trust me, and Ill return in kind.
As for the other two…do chocolate and coffee really need any explanation? No, no they don’t.