Durian: the Devil’s Dessert

While the angels delight in things like dill pickles, peanut butter, and fudge….the devil delights in durian. Truth.

          I do not understand all the hype about a fruit that tastes like I’d imagine my socks would after an hour-long workout in this Thailand heat. During the unfortunate durian season its putrid stench permeates the sticky air, clinging to the insides of my nostrils, leaving me trapped in a prison of noxious fumes where all I want to do is run my finger around the inside of my nose in an attempt to cleanse my airways but I can’t because I’m a 2520140401_113719 year old woman in the middle of a very public market. I’m not even exaggerating (much), durian is banned in most hotels and public forms of transport. You know why? The smell; the poisonous stench seeping from that weird, yellow, wrinkly flesh of the fruit. Pretty sure the outside of this fruit is hard and spiky because YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO EAT IT. That’s my theory, anyway.

And did you know that if you eat a lot of durian and drink alcohol you could actually die? The high sulfur content inhibits the body’s ability to clear toxins from the body by about 70%. Obviously this is no party snack. It is also a “hot fruit” and can cause excessive sweating because it heats up your body. Why on God’s green Earth would I want to sweat more than I already do in this weather? Those who are severely desperate seem to believe that durian is some sort of aphrodisiac. After my experience ingesting this dirty diaper of fruits all I felt was nauseous.

Some fool even tried to make candy from durian. You know what the other ingredients are? Salt, onions, and vinegar. Vinegar! Who in their right mind would call that candy?! That sounds even worse than Bakon Vodka…and to this day taking a shot of bacon flavored vodka was probably one of my worst decisions.

I just don’t understand how a continent with such beautiful places can grow something so evil. Yes, evil. Sulphur, smell of rotting carcasses, raised body temperature, potential untimely death…I mean come on, “Oh, hey, come on in ya old Devil, were just chowing down on the by-product of your hometown.”

And that, in it’s spiky little hate shell glory, is how I feel about durian.

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9 thoughts on “Durian: the Devil’s Dessert

  1. Pingback: The 30 Topic Blog Challenge | Life As I See It

  2. Well.. a very good description of the devil fruit but to others.. it is the king of the fruit. Thailand durian’s does not even smell anything but the smell if most fragrance especially the ones from Malaysia. It is just like smelly tofu in hong kong or taiwan. One may fall in love with it or hate it forever. I notice that you had got some myth in your blog but did you know that there is a natural chemical on the durian shell where you can wash off the durian smell from your fingers or guggle your mouth to remove the smell? Yes, you can. put the shell under running tap and you wash your finger.. and wah la!! the smell on your fingers are gone. =)

    • Haha while its true Im certainly not a fan of the stuff and will forever remember that first awful mouthful, I DID admittedly go a bit over the top to play on the topic challenge of “something you feel strongly about” 🙂

      Im guessing you yourself are a fan of durian?

      • haha. yes I am a fan although I am not a fan of the Thailand durians but only Malaysian ones. Actually Malaysian has many different species of durians; some which leave a sweet while some a slight after bitter taste. The taste also is different but still it is sweet paste. Guess you have a wrong start on the king of fruits (or in your own word’s – Devil’s fruit) =)

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